Orochimaru Yondaime sama?
by Temari 88
Summary: What if Orochimaru was made Yondaime instead of Minato? *contains some minor spoilers for the recent manga chapters, sorta*


_Hello everyone! :D_

_Well, this is the second fill for the Fill-A-Thon meme at LJ... and my very first time writing something with Orochimaru as a main character, no actually it's my first time writing Orochimaru. Point.  
I _did _have fun with it, though! C:_

_Discalimer: I own nothing but what I wrote._

_Enjoy!_

_Ja ne,  
Temari 88! _

* * *

**Orochimaru Yondaime-sama?**

Sarutobi Hiruzen stood behind his desk, hands entwined behind his back and expression solemn as he regarded the two shinobi waiting to know his decision—today, the Sandaime would choose his successor. The old man had made up his mind, although he wasn't quite sure what had pointed him in that particular direction... he shrugged, telling himself that it didn't really matter either way, so long as he could finally get rid of the ominous piles of papers.

"Minato-kun, Orochimaru-kun... I have come to a decision..." he announced.

_"About damn time, Sarutobi-sensei..."_ thought Orochimaru scathingly and wanting to throw a glare at the man standing beside him out of pure spite.

Said man only nodded lightly in acceptance of the news, he was hopeful but not so much that his world would shatter if Sandaime did not choose him. _"It's not like I'd abandon the village, turn exceptionally evil if somewhat of a pedophile and eventually fund an unofficial shinobi village just because I wasn't made Yondaime..."_

"So..." spoke up the soon-to-be-retiring-Hokage, "the one I appoint as Yondaime Hokage is... *metaphorical drum roll, please* Orochimaru."

"YES!" the pale man could not contain the smug feeling blossoming in his chest, he started a victory dance right in front of his former sensei and his 'rival'. "**YES!YES!YES!**"

"Oh, well... I guess I'll have more time to spend with Kushina this way." commented Minato, not too terribly sorry at his 'loss'. "Plus," he continued, eying Orochimaru with a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes. "I wasn't too thrilled at the idea of the billions of forms to read and fill out..."

"YESYESYESYESYE—" the snake Sannin froze on the spot as the words sunk in, then, "_**OHEMEFFGEE!**_"

Sarutobi and Minato looked at each other, smirks on both their faces, and exited the office trying to restrain their laughs... to their credit, they made it halfway down the corridor before bursting.

-x-

Madara was ready to take down Konoha, his plan was perfect: he would barge into the secret location where one of the last of the Uzumaki clan was giving birth and he would take advantage of the weakened seal holding the Kyuubi caged to trap the demon under his genjutsu and then free him.

The old Uchiha cackled darkly and evilly as he approached the cave where he was certain he would find the Yellow Flash and his wife—

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHERE ARE THEY?"

**[Elsewhere]**

"... Damn Orochimaru-teme...!" ground out Kushina, sweating buckets at the great effort of not only pushing her and Minato's son into the world, but also restraining the Kyuubi to keep him from breaking her chakra chains. Minato, busy with infusing his own chakra into the seal of his wife's stomach, sent her an understanding yet pleading smile.

"I know, Kushina-chan, but you know how Hokage-sama is - he was worried for his lab, as it's not far from the cave we had chosen..."

**[Hokage Office]**

"Kukukuku!" the chuckle reverberated off the sound-proof walls as the Yondaime had his snake-like eyes trained on a particular spot, impossible to see unless you knew where it was. "Idiot Madara...! _I_, Orochimaru of the Sannin and Yondaime Hokage of Konoha, will _never _let you lay your filthy hands on the Jinchuuriki! Kukukuku!"

-x-

The Hokage was not happy. He had received far from pleasant news: the Uchiha clan was planning a coup d'êtat to emancipate and let everyone notice just how kick ass they were... now, normally this wouldn't bother Orochimaru for he had a fascination with the antics of the clan members, but the thought that they were _actually _planning on taking him down from his chair was highly annoying. They had to be stopped immediately, and he knew just the perfect way to do so.

"Kabuto!" the Hokage called for his faithful assistant/pet/sex toy and once the bespectacled young man came in, he spoke his command. "Summon Uchiha Fugaku here at once, I need to have a nice little chat with him..." the glint in his yellow eyes was far from reassuring. Kabuto bowed and disappeared.

Five minutes later, the Uchiha Clan Head was in front of him, looking slightly nauseous. "You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama?"

"Why, yes _Fugaku_..." he answered smiling, "I heard what you and your treacherous friends are planning... you know I'm not pleased by this, right?" he paused to let his words sink into the other man's brain. "... I will put you under surveillance, Fugaku, and if you don't call off this _silly _coup d'êtat in the next three days, I will see to it that your newborn son - Itachi, is it? - will pass under the Hokage's **personal **care, understand...?"

The man nodded frantically, complexion now past the usual Uchiha-pale and inching towards grey-ish green, before turning around and positively running out of the office.

The Yondaime smirked darkly—if the man ever had other children, he could still have one of them... preferably a _young _boy, Kabuto couldn't satisfy him forever, after all...


End file.
